Solitary Affection
by ChipGaiaxX17
Summary: Clyde's on a downward spiral, Kyle's isolated and trapped in a cycle of depression and fear while Kenny's determined to find out the truth behind it all. Will be regularly updating.
1. Alone

_A/N: **My first SP fanfiction! This is an obscure pairing but I still get to do a bit of Creek as well which is my OTP. Other pairings will feature later if I decide I want to include them. Story (and hence the chapters) will be quite long. Thanks. Rated M for mature themes that will be prevalent later on.**_

I knew it was going to happen. That sneaking suspicion in the back of my mind. I tried to hide from it but the truth is inescapable. It always happens to me. All my friends have perfect love lives and then there's me. It's like relationships are my kryptonite or something. I can't hold onto them for long until they crack right in front of my eyes. I don't even know what I did wrong but then again I don't even know what I did right.

I just want love to work out for once. Is that so much to ask?

But the worst thing is that I won't be able to get over her. Her long flowing blond hair, her graceful smile, her charming charisma and her great tits. She was perfect. For me she was. When we were together, everything clicked. I know I sound cliché as hell right now but no one knows how fucking perfect that girl was to me. When we walked through the hallways with our hands together, you better believe that everyone's heads would turn to us in jealousy and awe. Bebe was smoking hot and all the boys knew it. Not even Cartman of all people could deny this. My best memories are basically just the period when we were together. Two months to be exact. My life was boring without her. She filled me with such happiness. A void that only she could fill. The best thing I remember about Bebe however is the night I took her virginity. Who wouldn't remember that? We both were nervous of course but I had a reasonable idea about the female anatomy and what to do with it. Seems as if Playboy has taught me more than my Biology class ever will honestly. I've made sure to keep that night in my memory banks until the end of time. The way she moaned as I thrusted inside of her was orgasmic. She tasted so unbelievably sensational. That night of passion filled me with joy and energy and for once my school life was actually going quite well all thanks to Bebe being in my life. My grades were going up to the level that were deemed passable and I was very popular with the guys and the girls. The guys often asked really perverted things about our sex life which is so awkward to respond to. I mean have you heard of some of the questions they'd ask to me? It was some really sick shit. I swear Butters asked me one time how big Bebe's bush was. I think punching him in the stomach was justified on that occasion. Even if I learnt later on that he had been misguided by the fatass again. The girls on the other hand talked to me normally and I appreciated it since before they had ignored me on the basis that I had flirted with them a bit too many times. No one can blame me for that though. All the girls at are school are like supermodels. Becoming Bebe's boyfriend seemed to have erased any form of my annoying flirting out of their memories which was strange but I'm not going to question it. We'd usually chat over by the stands on the football field as I was mostly there for the whole school day due to the fact that I was on the team. By the way, I'm totally the best player. I kick ass at football. Not even Stan is better than me (despite the fact that he totally thinks he is) which in turn caused a friction between Bebe and Stan's girlfriend Wendy. Bebe always defended me. I'll miss that.

I hate remembering her though. Her gorgeous smile. It just reminds me that we aren't not together anymore. She had just broken up with me. At her own party. Tears in her eyes and face consumed with guilt, she took me to her bedroom alone and had whispered the cruel words to me, catching me completely off-guard. She didn't tell me why but just looked down on the ground, her eyes looking anywhere else but at me. I begged her to tell me why she did it but she didn't respond. A simple 'sorry' and she disappeared out of the room. I didn't know what to do with myself so I locked myself in the bathroom and that's where I am now. Sitting down with my legs crossed crying as music blasted through the walls at full volume. I didn't want to go out there and face her. I couldn't. I'd stutter and beg so much for her to take me back that I would look pathetic. I thought me and her were doing well. The other girls I'd dated were cool and all but she was unique. She cared about what I said and we listened to each other. It's only until yesterday when she grew distant from me that I suspected anything bad. She said she didn't want to hang out and wanted to stay at her house. I should have went there and comforted her. I shouldn't have ignored it. I'm so fucking useless. Red always said I was. Guess she was right. As I was covering my face in my hands to wipe the tears, a loud knock came from the door.

"Clyde?" I recognised his nasal monotone voice immediately. It kinda sounded like a deeper version of my voice. Creepy.

"Leave me alone Craig." I shouted.

"Dude let me in."

"No. I don't want you to come in right now."

"Then I'll just stand here saying your name until you open the door. Clyde! Clyde!" I ignored him for a bit but damn he was persistent. For someone who was supposed to my friend he's a real asshole. Defeated, I get up slowly. The pain aching in my cheeks, it hurt to just stand on two feet. Throbbing poured through my belly as if a snake was slithering inside of me. At first I was hesitant to open it because I really wanted to be alone right now. I convinced myself that it would probably be better if I dealt with this myself. But Craig's a special case. Beneath his cold, calm exterior reveals a pretty sensitive and caring guy. I know it sounds totally crazy and unbelievable but I know from experience that it is totally true. He's my best friend and I mostly hang around with him and his boyfriend Tweek as well as Token and Jimmy. Those guys are awesome. We always look out for each other and not to brag or anything but I'm pretty sure I'm the one who makes them laugh the most. Sorry Jimmy! Tweek seems to love my jokes while Craig resents them. Well the ones which concern him anyway. Anyway around Tweek, Craig's much more... mellow and relaxed. He's really different around Tweek. Seeing him smile is the spookiest of all though. There was once a myth around our school that Craig Tucker never smiles. I'm pretty sure it was true until he got together with Tweek. He must really be into twitchy hyperactive blondes I guess. Me and him are still best friends though and he's helped me deal with breakups before but I doubt he could cheer me up after this one. I opened the door slowly to reveal Craig looking half annoyed half concerned for me.

"About time. I know what happened." Craig said as he walked inside the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

"You do?" I said in shock.

"I'm sure everyone does. I'm not surprised. The girls are all talking about it upstairs. You don't look good at all. I think you should go home."

"Yeah you're right. Can you drive me to my house?" I asked. I don't have a car since I'm too busy focusing on my scholarship for a prestigious university focused on sports. It's really important to me due to the fact that it's the only subject at school I actually excel at so it's pretty much the only choice I've got for my future. It's quite scary to think about honestly. I'm pretty much constantly practising for the upcoming big competitions against other schools around the world and I'm hell bent on winning against them. Craig is basically my chauffeur as he always drives me to school but now he's forcing me to pay him every time which is so unfair! Luckily he isn't charging too much money. I need my money for tacos and chocolate but I don't have any left because Craig is greedy! I know he just spends it on coffee anyway. He thinks he's such a casanova...

Craig shrugged. "Sure. I won't charge you this time. I'm nice. We'd better go now. Everyone is upstairs comforting Bebe right now so we can avoid them." I nodded and we exited the bathroom door and walked through the front room to the entrance. Barely anyone was downstairs which I was very pleased about. I didn't want to face a huge crowd with my eyes soaked of tears. The only people downstairs were Butters and Kenny who were chatting casually on the couch. As we walked past I caught a glance with Kenny who gave a quite malicious smirk and then waved at me slowly. I couldn't tell if Kenny was teasing me or if he knew what was going on. To me, Kenny is an enigma. He knows much more than he lets on and he's always secretive around me. He didn't wear his hood up anymore but truthfully I never knew why he wore it up to begin with. I thought he was covering up some dirty greasy hair or something but his pure blond smooth hair surprised everyone when he randomly began to come to school with his hood down. I've talked to him occasionally and he seems much cooler than Stan or Cartman but he has this mysterious vibe to him. With a more awkward than I meant it to be wave of my own, I left the house and arrived at Craig's car which was lazily parked sideways behind Annie's car. The cold breezed like a wind around me as rain dripped onto my brown hair. It was freezing so I tightened my gloves. Shivering, I got into the front passenger seat of the car where I found out that we weren't the only ones inside. The two back seats were taken by Tweek, who's neck was covered by way too many scarfs, and Kyle. Surprisingly, Kyle seemed to have drifted away from his old gang throughout the years and joined ours instead. Maybe he was fed up of arguing with Cartman I don't know but I have a suspicion it's something to do with Stan. His best friend. Or use to be anyway. Kyle and Stan used to be inseparable but now it was a different story. It was all because of Wendy. She's nice don't get me wrong but Stan is always around her now. He's like a dog that Wendy keeps on a leash at all times. Chained by love. They still hang out occasionally but it isn't nearly as often as before. Kyle pretends he's not affected by this change but I can see it. He's sad about it.

"Clyde's a bit down so it's just better to just leave him alone." Craig said to them in a soft voice. He knows Tweek likes it when he speaks softly and quitely. Nothing to spook him. Kyle raised his eyebrows but didn't question it which was so unlike of him as he basically raises his voice for just about anything. I'm pretty sure it was only because he didn't want to get on Craig's bad side. He packs a mean hook. I know first hand...

"I'm fine. I'm just tired that's all." I lied but I made a quick thankful smile at Craig who nodded back at me. Being left alone is exactly what I wanted right now. Craig began to drive and I just stared out the window thinking about her. Everything made no sense to me. The way she was crying. As if she didn't want to break up but somehow was forced too. She didn't seem willing to let me go but did it regardless. Even worse was the thought of going home. The possibility of my dad being there. I seriously beg to God that he isn't. Spending most of his time trying to pick up chicks in Skeeters bar, he often returns home drunk or with some whore around his waist. He has no interest in my life anymore. He pretends to but it would take someone really dumb to believe it when watching him drown in red wine. Ignoring him is hard enough without some random slut staring at me and saying "You have a kid?" when I open the door each day. The only positive thing I can say about my dad is that he leaves me the fuck alone most of the time. Mostly because he's away at the bar though. Ugh. I need to stop thinking about this shit and just forget about everything. All I want is to lay in bed and cry. As pathetic as it sounds. Rain patters across the windowsill, making a sweet sound pleasant to the ears.

"Hey Tweek! I forgot to tell you. I've sorted out all the slides and stuff for the presentation on Tuesday. I'll do the speaking and you can handle the computer. Is that cool with you?" Kyle asked nicely.

"Yeah that's great dude. Thanks for being the one to talk. I mean talking to the class is way too much pressure. What if I mixed up the words and said something wrong so Mr Lerone failed us for the whole year and then we couldn't take Maths anymore so that means we failed EVERYTHING! AH!" Tweek yelled in panic. Kyle giggled.

"That would never happen Tweek. If he did fail you then I would kick his ass." Craig told him, smiling ever so slightly. Craig enjoys his outbursts. He's such a chill guy but something about Tweek screaming random nonsense makes him really happy. No clue why.

"Pretty sure you can't just go beating up teachers Craig." Kyle said humorously.

"I'll do what I want!" Craig said in an impersonation of Cartman's annoying voice. It was too much. Me, Tweek and Kyle began to laugh uncontrollably. It was perfectly delivered and unexpected coming from the king of being monotone so it was even more funnier because of this. I snorted trying to hold the laughter in and Kyle was holding his hands to his chest in pain from all the giggling he was doing. Tweek covered his mouth with his scarf to cover up the laughter.

"What was that! Ha ha ha." I asked him after recovering from the shock of him saying that. I wish I had recorded that. It was gold!

"I've been working on that for a long time." Craig answered.

"You have to show Kenny what you just did! Priceless!" said Kyle, clenching his chest in amusement.

"Maybe. I don't think I can do that again." Craig said, looking almost proud of what he had just achieved. The rest of the journey amounted to continuous short giggles from us three passengers. Eventually we arrived to Kyle's house and since I lived near him, this was also my stop as well. We both got out of the car but as I did Craig called out to me.

"Clyde. Call me if you want. I'm free this weekend."

"Thanks. I might. Depends on how I feel."

With a short but enthusiastic twitchy wave from Tweek, the car drove away into the foggy mist, leaving only me and Kyle alone together. Kyle was still smiling about earlier.

"I think that's the first time I've smiled for ages. It felt great." Kyle said but his tone had changed from what it was in the car. It had turned into a saddened lost tone of voice. His words cut me like a knife. The kind and social Kyle the school knew and the depressed lonely Kyle I knew. I turned my head to face him and his smile faded. "Oh sorry Clyde. That sounded much worse than I meant it to be. That was nothing."

"You don't have to hide stuff from me. I know the act you put up at school isn't who you really are." Kyle just stared at me and his eyes were cold and full of sorrow. I never noticed when I was with Bebe but he looks hurt. All the time.

"What do you mean Clyde? What act?" Kyle stuttered as he said this. Lying straight out of his teeth. I was tired and depressed but I'm not heartless. Kyle's hurting and as a friend I want to fix it. I hate it when others are unhappy. It makes me feel worse. And I don't need that right now trust me.

"Come on dude. Look at you. You're sad. I should know what it looks like. Bebe just broke up with me for literally no fucking reason." I had no idea why I told him that. It just seemed right to say.

"I know. The girls have already posted it all over twitter." Well this wasn't a big surprise honestly. Pretty much everything that has ever gone on in South Park High has been posted and retweeted and it's all ridiculous. Do they not know what the word 'privacy' means? "Also I'm not sad. I'm a straight A student and have loads of friends. What on earth would I be sad about?" The words came out harsh and full of anger.

"Being lonely." I said blankly. Kyle looked away to the side trying not to face me but I could make out that I was right after looking at his facial expression. His smile had completely gone and was replaced with a lowly frown. I knew I was right.

"I... I... I don't... I'm not..." He tried to say but a sentence didn't come out. Sudden realisation of my rude accusation kicked in so I rushed in for an apology but Kyle stopped me by turning to face me once more.

"Clyde. Can you come in with me? My parents aren't home. Something to do with Ike but they won't be back until ages. I need to get stuff off my chest. Holding it in just makes it hurt more you know." I didn't really want to as I was really sleepy. I just wanted to rest in my bed watching some 'M' rated movies but I'd never seen Kyle this upset and pessimistic. Chained by guilt, I followed him into his house. I'm not an expert on Judaism but it was decorated heavily with Jewish ornaments. No way I could name them individually though. The house was covered in a veil of darkness, only a bedroom upstairs was providing any light source. I assumed this was Kyle's room. We both walked upstairs in utmost silence and entered the room. It seemed abnormally tidy but that was probably because it seemed so empty. All that I could hear was the rain crashing down outside the window. Framed photos caught me eye, depicting Kyle with his friends from the past. A lot of them were of him and Stan. Kyle sat on the bed and I followed suite, sitting right beside him.

"Out of everyone, you noticing me surprised me Clyde." he said quietly. I was unsure of what he meant by this but I decided not to question it. It seemed the right thing to do was to just let him open up and reveal why he was so sad. "I didn't want to bother anyone with what I was feeling but now I think I have to. Bottling it up isn't helping me anymore. It's destroying me."

"It alright dude. Let it out." I said kindly but I was starting to get a bit worried. This sounded serious.

"Ok. Well um... It's about love."

"Love."

"More the fact that I don't think it will ever happen the way I want it too."

"Kyle. Listen. Loads of girls have a crush on you Kyle. Last Thursday I was chatting with Annie and she totally digs you. Why would you have a problem with love?" The girls at our school are practically infatuated with Kyle. Kosher boy is heaven to them. This seemed rather bizarre that he was sad about something like this.

"Well it's more complicated than that. It's someone I know I can't be with."

"Who is it? Is it Ashley? She dumped Kevin a week ago. Red? I hope not. I can't stand her." Maybe guessing was a bit insensitive but I was desperate to find out who it was. Kyle seemed to be fighting back not to say the name and tears began to fall down his cheeks.

"Stan."

It was just a whisper but to me it felt loud and clear. I resisted a gasp of shock in order not to be rude towards him but my eyes widened after realising what this meant. Kyle was gay for Stan. Honestly I had my suspicions from the start but to have them be confirmed is truly shocking.

"Stan? You're gay? I mean I'm totally fine with it." I said and Kyle just nodded. I couldn't bare to see others cry. That's my job. I pulled him into my embrace and hugged him in a friendly way to comfort him. Kyle wrapped his hands around me and sobbed into my chest making my red jumper wet from the tears.

"Please don't tell anyone. If this ever came out, I'd ki... My life would be over." he begged of me. I held him tight in my arms and look directly at him.

"I'll take it to the grave Kyle. You can trust me." I was hundred percent commited to keeping this to myself only. Even if it would make great gossip. That's a girl thing anyway.

"Thanks Clyde. It feels kinda better to tell someone. If you want to spend the night you can. It saves you from walking all the way to your house." I smiled, knowing that he only wanted me to be by his side for tonight. Can't say I blame him though. I'm an awesome friend! If he had told Token then he would have totally told Nichole and Craig would surely tell Tweek. Cartman... Well Kyle wouldn't tell him anything so forget that. Me, on the other hand, wouldn't tell a soul. I was way too tired to walk back to my house anyway so I nodded.

"Sure. You got any good stuff to watch." I said. Kyle smirked slightly, his tears slowly fading away.

"What do you mean good stuff?" Kyle asked suspiciously. Really Kyle? I was not referring to porn. I don't even watch it that much anyway. It's just a rumour.

"Not that stuff! Like movies."

"How about Temple of Doom?"

"Sweet!" I got under the covers and began to undress underneath but Kyle covered his eyes with his hands despite the fact he couldn't see anything. What's the big problem? I sleep naked. Just like every other teen boy in the world.

"Woah! What are you doing? You can't do that." Kyle said in shock. I rolled my eyes.

"You're gay. I'm straight. I sleep naked. You probably do too. I don't see the problem here."

"But it's wrong. I mean us sleeping beside each other on the same bed like totally exposed. I mean..."

"Come on Kyle. It means nothing. Unless you are like attracted to me or something. Even if you are I don't mind. I'd be flattered actually. I'll be a hit with guys and girls. Expanding my circle is always a good thing." Kyle did one of the pinkest blushes I had ever seen and he made no attempt to hide it. His eyes had life in them again and I smiled genuinely. It was almost enough to make me forget about Bebe. Almost.

"I mean I'm attracted to lots of guys but... Whatever. I guess it means nothing anyway." He crawled under the covers next to me and undressed, scattering his clothes on the floor below. I wonder what he was thinking right now. I didn't put too much thought in reading his mind however as I laid down and closed my eyes.

"Clyde?"

"What?"

"Thanks for everything."

"Sure thing pal." and I drifted off to sleep, the theme song of the iconic movie playing in the background. All I could dream about was Bebe, our hands connected as we we kissed in a field of roses. A life we could have lived if not for tonight. It was going all so well until Bebe began to morph into someone else as I was kissing her. Someone with pure red hair.

I awoke in a pool of sweat and turned my head to face Kyle who was fast asleep. He was still wearing that green hat. Even in bed. I just looked at him and considered something forbidden.

No way. It was just a one off. I can't feel anything for him. I'm straight. I know I am.

Damn. This had to happen didn't it.

 **A/N: Next chapter should be up next week. I plan to update this regularly. Kenny will be a focus point for the next chapter btw. Thanks for reading. :)**


	2. Trickery

**A/N: I've changed the rating of this story to M. You'll see why in later chapters. Thanks for the follow/favourites and sinfulchoices for the review. :)**

I awoke to a shining bright light glowing into my eyes. Moaning in annoyance, I grabbed the pillow below me and pushed it against my face to block out the light but now I was uncomfortable and irritated. Who turns on the lights while I'm sleeping?

"Turn it off." I said gruellingly, rubbing my eyes as I sat up on the bed. Standing there in a judging sort of way was Kyle who was fully dressed with his hands on his hips.

"It's eleven. You've been asleep for ages. I've let you sleep this long but my parents will be home any minute. Get up."

"Fine... Turn around and let me get changed." I said and Kyle turned obediently, facing towards the door. I lazily got out of bed and grabbed my clothes lying on the floor. Not taking the time to carefully put them on, I glanced at Kyle who seemed to be trying awkwardly to not look behind him. I shoved on all of my clothes and checked my phone which was lying on the bedside table. There were a few messages but I wasn't bothered on checking them just yet. I'll probably read through them when I get home.

"There. I'm done. You can look now." Kyle turned back around and he looked slightly disappointed. By what I have no idea but he gave the impression that he was expecting something. Yawning noisily, I noticed he wasn't wearing his iconic green hat which weirded me out way more than it should have. It's disappearance led to the reveal of his red jew fro, messy and not neat in the slightest. His hair stood high however and he appeared taller than me with it.

"I'm having a shower. I don't know if you want to use it but I spend a lot of time in there. You know... The hair needs a lot of attention to make it look good. Combing takes like five minutes. Then there's the gel and even more steps. It's really inconvenient." Kyle explained, catching onto the fact that I had spent some time staring blankly at his hair. Coming back to my senses, the distraction of his hair faded and I shook my head.

"Well then I should go first then." Kyle gave a condescending smirk at my request.

"I'm going first. Sorry. But if you wan't to keep yourself occupied while you're waiting, you can use my computer. I think it's updating some stuff so it might be sort of slow." he told me mockingly.

"Sure. I'll make sure to be incognito before I do the deed." I said sarcastically, resulting in a cute smile from the red-haired boy and he left the room. I was still in recovery of learning that Kyle was actually gay and that freaky dream I had. I wonder if Stan knows about Kyle's little crush on him? Since I was going to be waiting for a supposedly long time, I decided to just check my phone and get it over with now. I pretty much have the whole school on my contacts so I braced myself for the worst. Pressing the home button pretty much exploded my phone in countless texts. I didn't even recognise some of the names at all. Like who the hell is Nelly? The texts caused quite a bit of lag so it took me a long time just to type in my password and get in. The first few messages were from some girls asking about why the break up happened. Can't they just ask their queen Bebe if they really wanted to know? Bet she would tell them all the details before she told me anything about it. She didn't even give a fucking reason. Bothering me is just something the girls at my school like to do and usually I love the attention but now it was unwanted. There was one from Cartman (he is only on my contacts so he would stop bothering me about adding him by the way) which said exactly what you would expect him to say:

 _omg Bebe dumped you lol wow ur such a pussy clyde did you cry like a girl? tell me what happened!_ #

I didn't text back. The others were from more girls and some of my friends. Wendy's text stood out to me as it was sympathetic and not bitchy like I'd expected it to be:

 _Bebe dumped you? Really? I'm so sorry Clyde. :( I talked to her earlier and she still loves you. Well she didn't say it directly but the way she talked about you made me sure of it. I'm not sure what's going on with her but please try to talk to her on Monday in school. See you then._

She still loved me? God I hope she still did. To forget the times we had together would be unforgivable. I just don't understand why she got rid of me like that. For what purpose? The way she smiled when I was around her. I made her happy when no one else could. I comforted her when she cried. It must have meant something to her. Or else she wouldn't still be in love with me. Just thinking about her brings back sadness. I want to cry again. Cry to Kyle. He understands what its like to be sad. My life was terrible before Bebe. Failing grades was the norm back then and even with my popularity with my peers, I didn't feel like I mattered. The smile I plastered onto my goofy face wasn't real. Craig knew I was fake. He told me so. He has a knack for noticing when people are lying to others as well as themselves. Bebe changed me though. I felt as if live was worth living. That I could spend the rest of my life with her. She complimented me on the most minor of things but that didn't changed how much it affected me positively. Maybe I just need someone there by my side. Someone to hold me up and make me stand on my own two feet. The feeling of nothing returned to me last night when she dumped me but strangely it all went away when I was talking to Kyle. The way he fears being outed or the way he confided in me. He chose me. Not Kenny or Token or even his own best friend. Me. I felt like he needed me and that made me so much happier. But I'm not into guys. I know I'm not. I never was before. Ideas swimming in my head, I deleted the rest of the texts as they all were asking the same thing. As I went through a pattern of opening and deleting, I saw a irregular message. From Kenny. It was noticeable because the way he typed was special to say the least.

 _Why Were You At Kyle's House Yesterday? Are You Still There?_

I despise it when people type that and Kenny knows it. He did it deliberately. I wasn't really focused on that however because I was more concerned with how he knew I was even at Kyle's house last night. I guess Butters snitched or whatever since he lives pretty close to Kyle. Sighing, I unlocked my phone to respond:

 _Why do you care?_

Kenny immediately responded.

 _I Don't Like Texting. Let's Meet Up. I Know You Aren't Doing Anything Today. :)_

To be fair he was telling the truth as now without Bebe I don't have anything to do. Not like I didn't have anything in mind for today however since my computer has some satisfying websites to keep me occupied. Honestly I'd rather just spend my day watching porn than go talk to Kenny about arbitrary things but I was never one for rudeness. After I had made up my mind, I texted back.

 _Fine. Let's go to Tweek's coffee shop._

 _But There's No Privacy There. ;(_

I chuckled slightly at that one. I wonder what game Kenny's trying to play...

 _My house then. At 12._

 _That's Like Three Hours Away :(_

 _I know. I need to get changed and stuff. See you then._

 _Bye Clyde! xD :) :D_

He's so annoying when he wants to be. Yet sometimes he's serious. I can't figure him out. I'm not sure what Kyle's planning today but hopefully it has nothing to do with me. I wouldn't see why it would though. We haven't really hung out alone us two. Well not until now that is. I hope he doesn't get upset or something that I'm going to talk to Kenny after everything Kyle confided to me. Actually it kinda makes me look really suspicious in retrospect. I'll just pretend I'm going to Token's house or something. That's believable. Noticing that I was growing bored by the waiting, I jumped onto the comfy spinning chair and grabbed hold off the mouse. The computer might keep me busy for a moment. Resting my chin on my palm, I scrolled through Kyle's internet history. Curiosity got the best of me. I was eager to find something dirty on there but it was kinda tame. I guess he uses incognito or something. How sneaky. I'd bet a lot that his parents check his internet history. I could see his mom doing that. She's such a bitch! Temptations attempted consuming me to search up some x-rated stuff but it just seemed wrong to search that stuff in a friend's house and I don't want Kyle watching me jacking off to some girls getting fucked by a man in a panda costume. Hmm. Does he watch gay porn? He seems too innocent to watch that sort of stuff but I don't know Kyle that well to judge him like that. I turned off the computer and sat on the bed, mostly wasting time by playing random IPhone games that I spend way too much on. Kyle eventually finished in what seemed like hours and when he walked in, he eyed me in curiosity.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing. Honest."

Despite me being truthful, Kyle didn't seem to believe me and jumped onto the computer in order to check it.

"You can have your shower now by the way. I guess you know how to use it."

After my shower, which made me feel so much better, I checked the time and it was eleven so I still had an hour to go. I don't think Kenny knows I'n not actually at my house and he has a tendency of being places way too early. I walked up to Kyle who was smiling in enjoyment.

"My farm just got three more pokes! That means I can get two more pigs!" he said excitedly, mashing all sorts of commands on the keyboard. I can't believe he still plays that dumb Facebook game. He has all the latest gaming consoles yet he wants to play farmer. Nice.

"Oh um I have to go now." I said stiffly. Kyle seemed to tense up slightly with his smile being replaced by a frown of dis contempt. The emptiness in his eyes started to show again.

"You do?"

"Yeah sorry. This was great though. We could do this again. I promise not to tell anyone about... you know." I said to him kindly. Kyle nodded sadly.

"Thanks and yeah I'd love to do this again. I guess I'll see you at school on Monday." he told me meekly.

"Yep. See you then. Lose the hat by the way. You look great without it." and with a polite wave, I left his room, leaving a blushing Kyle stroking his hair slowly, and began to travel to my house. Seeing Kyle turn from joy to darkness so quickly hurt me. I never knew how bad it was for him but I can see that he hates being alone in that house. Like he was scared that no one was around to protect him or reassure him. I'm thinking too much into this and I know it but I want to go back in there. I don't know whats going on with me lately but after last night I feel different. I'm not myself that's for sure. Hanging around Kyle is already strange enough and Stan's sure to question me about it when Kenny or whoever inevitable informs him that I was around his house. Exceptionally defensive, Stan will probably think I was trying to steal the 'best friends forever' title or something. Naturally I love pissing off Stan so you can bet I'll say anything to make him red with anger. It's funny. I know it's such a Cartman thing to do but hey even I will admit that I understand the appeal of angering people I don't like. I should have just went home and ignored Kyle but for some reason I stayed with him. I barely talked to him before any of this and now we are like really close. I still don't get why he told me out of all people but maybe he will reveal that stuff later. I was thinking about Kyle a lot while walking to my house and when I arrived Kenny was predictably sitting on my porch, half an hour before he was supposed to arrive. He looked as if he lived there as he was lying on the ground sleepily covered in dust. Rolling my eyes, I called out to him.

"Seriously Kenny?"

"I was tired of waiting."

"You were supposed to be here at 12! How long have you been waiting?" I asked in shock. He's crazy.

"That doesn't matter." Kenny said in order to change the subject. "Let's go in already. I'm cold and I want to hear your juicy secrets." I sighed as I opened the door which led me into my dark silent house. My dad was never here on the weekends which was a blessing to me as I could do whatever I wanted all day. Turning on the lights, the two of us wondered into the front room where we took a seat on the couch. Kenny stared at me as if he was a dog awaiting his meal. "Could I have something to eat? Please? Pretty Please?" The cupboards and drawers had stockpiles of food but I wasn't going to give any to him for free.

"Only if you're a good boy." I said jokingly but Kenny seemed both displeased and amused at my joke.

"How can I achieve the status of 'good boy' then Clyde?" he said in a seductive tone, scooching closer to me as his hands massaged my shoulders. I looked at him in a confused manner and he winked slowly as his hands rubbed the back of my neck. I didn't stop him at first and I'm afraid to admit that I sort of liked the way he touched me. I didn't like it sexually though. It was relaxing to put it into words. I slowly pushed his hands away from me after a while.

"I'm straight Kenny. You know that. You're surprisingly great massages wont change that." I told him but he giggled.

"I used to think that. But now I'm not sure." he said and I undoubtedly knew what he was referring to.

"Nothing happened at Kyle's house. He was a bit upset and we talked about it." Kenny gave an exaggerated yawn at my answer. It was annoying because I wasn't lying at all.

"Look Clyde I'm not blind. I know Kyle's depressed." he told me, his tone morphing into pity and seriousness. Glancing at him curiously, the events of that night flashed into my mind. Kenny's wave when I left, Kyle's confession and when he genuinely smiled at me. Kenny knew about it?

"You do? So you know I was just helping him deal with it then?" I questioned him in interest.

"That's partially true. But it's not what you did. It's what Kyle did. The secret he told you. I know about it." It was a lot to take in all at once and it was hard to grip it all. I lowered my voice to a whisper.

"That he's gay?" I said and Kenny nodded.

"If more people actually paid attention to him then they'd see it for themselves. I'd guarantee it. For me it was obvious. All the signs were there. His disinterest in dating girls. His fashion choices. His obsession with watching the football game even though he hates football and complains about it to me. Those and I caught him jacking off to a picture of Stan in the toilets." I couldn't help but laugh at that one.

"Seriously? Did he catch you?"

"Nope. I can't get caught." Kenny said proudly, smiling from my laughter. I took a sip of water to prevent more obnoxious laughs and continued...

"It's just that I feel sorry for Kyle. That's all. When I was with him, he was so happy and he seemed like he was actually being real with me for once. It made me feel much better too. Just like Bebe did." Kenny nodded understandably and took some cookies on the table and chomped them rapidly. He clearly hadn't eaten for a long time. After he was finished devouring my food, he motioned me to continue. "It's just I don't like Kyle that way. I've never been attracted to guys ever." Kenny shook his head as I finished and gave a little smirk.

"I believe you." he said in a totally not believable way. "It's just I think Kyle told you out of everyone because he likes you." That's ridiculous. Kyle would not like me like that. We are way too different. He's this super smart A+ student while I'm the co-captain of the school's football, hockey and rugby teams and failing most of the other subjects I'm forced to take. What would he see in me?

"That's so dumb. He even told me likes Stan." I said defensively.

"You can be in love with more than one person. Shouldn't you of all people know that?"

"Speak for yourself Kenny. You're seeing something that isn't even there. Kyle isn't even like me. Why would he choose me?" I said, my temper rising slowly. I hated being angry. The aftermath makes you feel so shit. Kenny still smiled at me however, unfazed by my sudden outburst. I glared at him.

"Clyde. Calm down." he said calmly and I obliged. I rarely ever get angry. Why was I being like this over Kyle. I wasn't in denial. He doesn't love me and that's great because I can't love him. "Just let me try something ok?" Kenny's question intrigued me and I nodded slowly. This time I was the dog waiting for it's master commands. My fingers felt numb and my stomach ached. I watched Kenny move closer to me, his hands clutching my waist. I should have stopped him but... I let him keep going. He was so close that our noses were just slightly touching. I was frozen to the core, unable to do anything. Watching him was hypnotic and he moved his face closer towards me. I could smell the sweet cologne he had put on and I wasn't even wondering how he could have afforded it. His legs were on top of mine as I laid backwards towards the armrest, laying completely on top of the couch. He was on top of me but I did nothing to fight back. Without even thinking, our hands were suddenly connected and our lips were touching. He pressed his own lips towards my own, now completely dominating me in control.

He was kissing me.

 **(AN: Kyle's P.O.V next chapter. Naughty Kenny!)**


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